Finding Luminescence
by Mika Casey
Summary: She felt so utterly alone most nights when she lay awake; devoid of dreams and wondering when she would be able to again be at peace with her thoughts. Beast Boy & Raven oneshot


**Disclaimer**: The Teen Titans do not belong to me. The song in italics is "Someone Who Cares" by Three Days Grace. Reference to_ The Great Gatsby_, because I'm a so sneaky.

**Author's Note**: Summer has started. Let the writing begin!

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**Finding ****Luminescence** _by Mika Casey_

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**_Why is it so hard to find someone... _**

The moon looked like ice, a snowy impression of a full circle pressed into the black sky in the wee hours of the morning. Framed by the billowing black curtains through a window in the Titan Tower, the round figure looked like the face of a pale lady shrouded in black.

Dark blue eyes stayed locked on the stars that were scattered throughout the night atmosphere as Raven sat on the edge of her bed, sleepless. Every joint and muscle in her body ached, as if the very stitching that kept her together was about to unravel she would fall apart and be left in millions of pieces for someone to find in perhaps, a couple years when someone bothered to come looking for her. She felt so utterly alone most nights when she lay awake; devoid of dreams and wondering when she would be able to again be at peace with her thoughts.

_Beast Boy_. In her melancholy musings, she sometimes thought deeply about the green-skinned boy who slept just down the hall in his cluttered room wearing red and white heart boxers. She had recently taken to calling him Garfield, not only to annoy him by using his civilian name but also because she enjoyed being able to call him something that nobody else (besides his parents) called him. She thought the name was becoming and suited him better than some idiotic superhero name.

She glanced to her left. There on her nightstand was a silver vase with a single orchid in it, something Garfield had given her on a whim. He had been picking flowers in Starfire's garden and handed the pale purple flower to her without a word. His actions often confused and enraged her, but this particular instance had warmed her heart. An unusual sensation for her, being the monster that she was.

A tear began carving a path down her face, like a river making its way over the earth. Soon after the first, more salty drops followed suit, and two tiny rivers traversing her cheeks. She sobbed once, and she felt her pain like a fist swung straight into her stomach.

**_...who can keep it together when you've come undone?_**

She heard a knock at her door. A muffled "Rae?" came from behind the wall. Debating whether to answer, Raven's eyes shifted back out to the stars. Through her tears, she saw the shimmer of a shooting star cross the constellations. _A message from the gods_. She thought, pressing her lips together as she stood and slowly walked through her room to the door and slid it open with her white hands.

There he was. In his heart boxers, as she suspected, and a black H.I.M. band tee-shirt. His skin still looked vibrant green in the dim light, rippling over his toned muscles. He seemed wide awake as well, she could tell he hadn't been able to sleep yet because there wasn't a hazy look in his dark green eyes as he looked at her. His lips were drawn into more of a round shape, like he wanted to say something but couldn't get his lips and tongue to do the work required to get it out.

"Garfield, go to sleep." She warned him. If he lost sleep tonight, he'd be walking around the tower like a zombie the next morning. She lifted her hand to grab the door and shut it.

**_Why is it so hard to find someone... _**

His hand darted forward and clutched her slender wrist. "No way. I know you haven't been sleeping, Rae. I see those dark circles under your eyes. Something's haunting you." He told her, pausing a second before adding. "More than usual, that is." Bringing his other hand up to her face, he ran along the path the tears left on her face with a green thumb.

Raven was almost at the point of breaking down. She leaned into him a little, only to pull herself back and close her eyes, letting more and more tears fall until she feared she would drown them both. "I-I'm s-sorry..." Was all she could stutter through her weeping.

"Shh." He tried to calm her, pulling her into his arms. She knew he could feel her trembling against his belly, but she couldn't stop the rush of emotion now. He began so speak again. "You have nothing to apologize for, and you don't need to be alone tonight if you don't want to be. I can stay with you."

Opening her dark eyes to stare up at him, it suddenly hit Raven like a ton of bricks what she had been missing. She needed Garfield like James Gatsby needed Daisy's flashing green light on the other side of the lake, a sign that someday she wasn't going to have to fend for herself, that she could lose herself in his arms and that was just fine.

She pulled away from him for a moment, and she watched the grief develop in his eyes as he thought she was rejecting his presence. She enjoyed chasing that pain from his eyes right out the window as she grabbed his perfect green face and kissed him hard, like she was never going to kiss anyone else again and this was the only contact with another human being that was going to matter in her whole life. The darkness was gone and suddenly the fading moon's light was all that filled the room and seeped all the way into her soul.

When she was done attacking her companion's face, she leaned back to see his reaction. The most dominant emotion that filled his eyes was surprise, at first, but it slowly melted into a warm hum of affection behind his emerald irises. He held her tight and whispered in her ear: "I'll take that as a yes."

**_...who cares about you?_**


End file.
